View Full Version : succesful method to quit smoking

02-19-2005, 03:03 PM
Anyone know of a succesful way to coax a loved one to stop smoking? Any advise or ideas would be appeciated.


02-19-2005, 03:16 PM
This idea might be a bit costly, but what if you went on a cruise for a week on the condition that the loved one can't smoke the whole time you're there. All the activities that they plan for you on the cruise would help to keep their mind off the smoking and after that week of forced cold turkey, it might be easier to last longer.

That along with letting him/her know how important it is for his/her health and how important it is for you might work.

A lot of people quit smoking after military boot camp or long stays in the hospital because that gives their bodies enough time to recover from the physical addiction, but then again a lot go back to smoking because their co-workers smoke and it becomes very social. Even people who are friends/co-workers who try to be supportive with their friend quitting, end up pressuring them to start again simply because that friend keeps on smoking.

02-19-2005, 04:05 PM
Along with whatever tips or tricks you come up with to change the smoking behavior, a dose of the reality of the situation may be helpful to get that person to change their mind about smoking. For example - smoking is one of the leading causes of disease in this country (the statistics are on the CDC's web site); also, a recent study by Harvard University has concluded that half of the personal bankruptcies in this country are due to medical and health-related expenses. What Alan quotes about truth really happens, but the realization that smoking isn't just a "personal choice" that only affects the individual, but eventually causes financial suffering and heartache for everyone around that person, might be the thing that pushes them to become an ex-smoker.

In the end, cold turkey is probably the method that best results in permanent smoking cessation. The fact that you did it yourself, and that you consciously set yourself apart from the smoking population makes the decision much more enduring. It's hard (yes I know this personally) but it requires that "first you make a stone of your heart", when it comes the friends and co-workers who are enabling a smoker's behavior.

02-19-2005, 04:26 PM
Anyone know of a succesful way to coax a loved one to stop smoking? Any advise or ideas would be appeciated.



The old adage "a picture is worth a thousand words" is undeniably true. My father was a three-pack-a-day smoker, who died of lung cancer when my son (first child and grandchild) was only 8 weeks old. He was in the final days of his life when we brought Ryan for my parents to see, and, as you can imagine, he was horribly ravaged by the disease. Although I wasn't thinking into the future when I did it, I took several pictures of Ryan cradled on Dad's lap: birth and death juxtaposed in the same image(s).

As a parent, I am naturally concerned that my kids don't take up the habit - and those photos have come in handy! Ironically, I have an earlier photo of my dad - as a strong, lean and healthy looking man (a cigarette dangling in one hand, of course) - also cradling a baby in his lap: only the baby was yours truly. My kids have seen those photos together, and the message has gone in deeper than any lectures of mine could convey. They've seen, in the pictures of the grandfather they've never known, what death looks like, and know what caused it. And I never pass on an opportunity to drive the message home. Some of their friends have parents who smoke, and - although they are younger than I am, look (and act) much older. We often see people in public places: heavily overweight, attached to mini-tanks of oxygen - prisoners within their own bodies - and the message goes in even deeper: smoking kills - often by slow, tortuous degrees.

Your loved one really, really, really does not want to go there. But they need to see it for themselves...you can talk until you're blue in the face, but words alone will never penetrate the denial that smokers live in.

In addition to finding some visible means of conveying the horrors that await, this little kit from Edmund Scientific (h t t p://scientificsonline.com/product.asp_Q_pn_E_3038821) may help reinforce the message. The apparatus "smokes" cigarettes, and the residue is deposited on a filter paper...the s**t left on that filter paper is dark, sticky, smelly, and disgusting - it's also a visible reminder of what's going into his/her lungs - not to mention teeth, hair, and clothes ( :eek: ), 10, 15, 20+ times a day. It's nasty, but effective.

As with any addict, an intervention is required, and the best thing you can do is make your case as graphically as possible.

02-19-2005, 06:10 PM
Thank you so much to all :)
The loved one is my wife. I'm not sure why I was reluctant to be specific in my original post :confused: I am paralyzed as to what to do for two reasons. #1 is I am an ex drunk. (Been sober 3 years now, Praise the Lord!) So I know what having an addiction is like. I'm sure the physical addiction to nicotine is different from alcohol but I think the psycological addiction is similar. I remember all the years my wife begging & nagging for me to stop. Always to no avail. In the end I had to truly want to stop. Not because someone else, (even my wife) wanted me to. It had to be because deep down I wanted to. I figure it's the same for her addiction. I dont nag her at all. I just let her know I love her and would kinda like to have her around for as long as possible. How do you get a person to value themselves and thier own life enough to do it?
Reason #2. About 4 years ago her father died of emphysema. Oh my, what a gruelling death that is. Her Dad had been a heavy smoker for many years. At the time my wife smoked, but not alot. Maybe a pack a day at the most. Immediatly after her fathers death her sister started putting immense pressure on her to quit smoking, to the point that thier relationship soured and to this day they hardly speak. It was around this time when her smoking started to increase. She is now a chain smoker. It makes no sense. Sometimes I almost think she's trying to kill herself with the cigarets to get back at her sister. Wierd. Oh boy, sorry to be so long. I appreciate every bit of insight,advise & every idea. It all helps.